


Trivial Warfare

by Lion_owl



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Community (TV) - Freeform, F/M, For an exchange, I'm not entirely sure what this is, Paintball, Trope Subversion/Inversion, inspired by the community episodes of paintball (particularly 'modern warfare'), you don't need to have seen the community episode to get it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 13:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11532834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lion_owl/pseuds/Lion_owl
Summary: The Enterprise crew gets embroiled in an alien-orchestrated game of paintball, and Worf and Tasha make some changes to their relationship





	Trivial Warfare

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katrinahood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katrinahood/gifts).



> thanks jazzy and weyounsburger for checking it over for me

“It didn’t happen?” Tasha suggested when she caught up to Worf. “It’s not that it was a mistake, it was just that it didn’t happen.”

Worf hesitated, then after a moment, with a curt nod: “agreed.”

“We better get in there,” Tasha said, gesturing behind her. They were standing outside Ten Forward, where many of the crew were celebrating their safe return to the ship. They slipped into the room quietly, and sat down at a table beside Geordi, Deanna and the others.

“Something’s changed,” Guinan noted immediately, narrowing her eyes in their direction.

 

***three weeks earlier***

 

“Captain, I’m detecting an energy surge building up on the port bow.”

“Origin?” Picard asked.

“Unknown,” Tasha admitted. “It appeared very suddenly, sir.”

Was she imagining it, or was the air around her turning a bright lime green colour? Was her vision beginning to wave? She was sure that the bridge wasn’t normally this shape… she felt herself falling.

When she woke, she was lying on a grassy dune overlooking a valley. Through the fading sunlight she could make out the outlines of others dotted on the sides of the mountains.

“You’re awake,” She heard Deanna’s voice behind her, and turned to see her friend getting to a standing position and offering her a hand. She opened her mouth. “I don’t know where we are,” Deanna pre-empted her question. “And I can’t sense any consciousness besides our own crew.”

She got to her feet, reaching to her side for her tricorder or phaser. Neither were present. “I’m getting a bad feeling about this,” she said. “What happened after I passed out on the bridge?” 

“I don’t know,” Deanna told her. “I believe we all passed out at the same time.”

“I don’t like this at all. It’s getting darker. I think we should find food, water and shelter.”

“I agree, and perhaps some of the other crew.”

She found herself giving Deanna a confused look, then shook her head. “Yes, of course.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Deanna asked. “I got a brief sense of…” she trailed off.

“I’m fine. Let’s go.” There was something of a path not far from them, and they started walking along it, which led them across the dune, away from the valley, and down the hill into a slight dip. It seemed as though it was leading them to the top of the mountain on which they stood.

It didn’t take too long before they came across a cave, small at the entrance but fairly roomy inside. Worf and Data were already there, and had heated up some rocks with a phaser.

“Where are we, Data?” Tasha asked, assuming the android hadn’t been subject to whatever had knocked the rest of the crew out.

“I do not know,” Data said. “We have surveyed the area on foot, but without tricorders it is difficult to be sure of anything. I…” he trailed off. “After you all lost consciousness, there was an overload in my console. The blast overloaded my matrix, in essence ‘knocking me out’, too, and I woke up here just like the rest of you. I can only assume that whoever is responsible has gained access to the ship.”

“We should get some sleep, figure all of this out in the morning,” Deanna suggested, and there was a round of agreement.

“I’ll keep watch,” Data offered. Tasha got a nagging feeling that he was hiding something, but agreed anyway, lying down and using her arms as a makeshift pillow.

When the morning rolled around, Data was not present. Worf was awake, and eating from a bowl of what looked like leaves. “Breakfast?” He offered when he saw Tasha was awake.

“What is it?” She asked. “Native plants? Are you sure they’re edible?”

“Reasonably certain.” He looked embarrassed, and for a moment she thought he wasn’t going to say anything further, then, quietly, he said “Exo-wildflower identification is a… hobby of mine.”  

It could be a trap, Tasha thought. If Data was lying to her, there was every chance Worf was lying to her as well. She daren’t risk it. She could go a few more days, getting water was her priority. “Thanks, but I’m okay just now,” she said, smiling to mask her discomfort. “Deanna,” she said, going to her friend and gently shaking her. “Deanna, wake up.”

Deanna mumbled a few words under her breath as she slowly opened her eyes, then leapt back, awake, shaken for a moment before settling. “I forgot we were stranded on this planet,” she explained.

“We have to get going,” Tasha said. At that moment, Data re-entered the cave, followed by Ensign Banks. Tasha narrowed her eyes at him. “Where have you been?”

“Tasha,” Deanna’s voice was firm. “Why am I sensing so much hostility from you?”

“Because he’s lying to us.” Tasha accused, pointing at Data. “He’s collaborating with whoever did this.”

“Does that sound like Data to you?” Deanna asked. Tasha scowled.

“I’m keeping an eye on you,” She hissed.

“That is your prerogative, lieutenant,” Data said, infuriatingly calm.

“I think we need to head into the valley,” Banks interjected. “There’s something going on down there. Perhaps it will hold the answers to our predicament.”

The five of them headed off, walking down the path to the bottom of the mountain. It took several hours, and along the way they stopped by a rushing stream to get a good drink, and fill up some containers they had fashioned out of tree bark and leaves. The sap from the pouches gave the water a strange taste, but it was rather pleasant. They just hoped it wasn’t going to be poisonous.

As the ground began to flatten out, a projectile of some sort flew past them, and they ducked out of the way. It continued to travel past them and landed in some tall grass. Ahead of them, they caught site of Captain Picard lying on the ground on his back, his eyes closed, and dashed over to him, Tasha and Worf kneeling over. He was still breathing.

“Captain,” She said, shaking him, but he didn’t wake. Something red was spread across his jacket. It looked a little like blood, but there was something incredibly off about it. “Captain Picard!” She turned to the others. “We need to help him.”

“Oh, he’ll be fine.” Doctor Crusher’s voice, and Tasha looked up to see her and Guinan pointing phasers at them. “He’s just in stasis. Stand up.” Tasha glared at her, and she motioned with the phaser. “Don’t make me use this on you as well.”

“As well?” Worf asked. “You did this?”

“Last person standing gets the prize,” Guinan said, like that was an explanation.

“The prize,” Beverly agreed. “The prize, the prize.” She sounded almost hypnotised.

“Okay, okay,” Tasha stood, raising her hands above her head. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“There’s a cache of weapons over there.” Guinan tipped her head back in the direction of a large wooden crate. “Get what you need then let’s go.”

Nothing about this situation added up, and Tasha’s bad feeling was getting considerably worse. “Why would you give us weapons if you’re treating us like the enemy?” she had to know.

“We’ll form an alliance,” Data said. “Then we’ll last longer.” Had she been in her right mind Tasha would realise Data had simply analysed the situation and reached the most logical conclusion, but little did she know she was not in her right mind – none of them were – and took this as a sign that she’d been right about Data’s treachery. She marched over to the crate, opened it, took a phaser and aimed it at Data, firing without even checking its setting.

What she could never have expected was a projectile to fly out of the gun, splattering colour across Data’s chest upon impact.

“It’s… _paintball?_ ” she realised, spitting angrily. “It’s fucking paintball!”

She looked at Data, orange liquid seeping down his uniform. He was watching it too, then shrugged in a manner very unlike him, sat down and closed his eyes. As she watched, she heard footsteps behind her and turned to see Commander Riker running towards her, paint-phaser aimed, and her training kicked in as she raised her gun and aimed, firing a blue sphere just as a pink sphere came flying out of a thicket, and Geordi emerged from the bushes just as the paintballs exploded on Riker’s shoulder. With a sigh, he chucked his phaser away and lay down in the grass.

“Geordi! Don’t shoot!” She called, holding her hands up as he approached them.

“What has gotten into everyone?” She asked.

“The prize,” Worf suddenly said, lifting his gaze towards the sky, a glazed look crossing his eyes. “It will be _glorious_.” She wondered how he knew

“Yeah, what is this prize, anyway?” she asked, getting annoyed.

But Worf didn’t answer her question, simply turned to look at the others, apparently himself again.

“Everyone who’s left is hiding in the village, which is about a kilometre away.” Geordi said.

“We must take them out.” Worf said.

Tasha knew that what they really needed to do was find whoever was responsible and put an end to this… charade? But against her better judgement, found herself agreeing with them, and getting rolled up in the game. She picked several phase-rifles out of the cache and slung them over her shoulder over her water pouches, along with a bag full of spare paintballs. “Let’s move.” She commanded, and marched off in the direction Geordi had come from.

Behind her, Geordi, Worf, Deanna, Guinan, Beverly and Ensign Banks all stocked up on guns and paint and followed suit behind her.

They walked brusquely, not talking. As they did, Deanna untangled one of her water pouches and took a drink before passing it around. When they reached the village they all raised their phasers immediately, ready to take out anyone who crossed their path. It was like a ghost town, though. There were many colours of paint splattered across the yellowish stone buildings, and people lying asleep across the pavements. Somewhere in the distance, they heard singing.

They flanked each other, covering every direction. It would probably be an idea to find a wall or something to crouch behind, but at least being out in the open meant it was more likely someone would fire on them and they could determine their location assuming they avoided the bullet.

The singing became louder. A bait?

They had to assume the vocalists were part of the game.

Not that this was a game. This was war. Winning the prize was the ultimate goal. She knew that instinctively. If only she could have said exactly what it was.

At that moment, a paint pellet came flying out of an upstairs window of a building, hitting Banks in the leg, another hit Deanna in the back, and another moments later which hit Geordi in the foot.

“Oh well, that’s us out.” Deanna said.

“I brought a pack of cards with me,” Geordi said, reaching into his pocket. “Go Fish?”

“Sure,” Banks clapped them both on the shoulder, and the three of them walked away. It was as though everyone was all under some sort of spell, a spell that broke the moment they got hit by a paintball. Logically, they should all shoot themselves in the foot and bring this to an end, but the thought of winning the prize…

Guinan and Beverly whipped round, firing several rounds in the direction that the most recent fatal blows had come from, and several people fell to the ground, landing on their feet and walking away.

“Is there anyone else left?” Geordi asked. Perhaps, a mistake. The four of them immediately pointed their paint-phasers at each other.

“We should wait it out for the evening.” Guinan suggested, lowering her phaser just a few centimetres. “Until we’re certain.”

“Okay,” Beverly said, but didn’t lower her phaser as she walked slowly backwards towards the door of a building, pushing it open and going inside. The others followed.

The others seated themselves around the embers of a dying campfire that someone long gone had built, but Tasha remained standing. “I’ll gather some wood,” She said, “See if we can’t get this going again.” And walked back out of the door, across the courtyard and back into the forest. Hopefully, while she was gone, they would shoot each other, and she would be left, last person sans paint on them. She wasn’t really interested in stoking the fire.

She was, however, getting rather hungry, and just ahead of her was a tree with some kind of fruit hanging off its branches. She took off at a jog towards it, not considering that they may be poisonous, or that they may be a trap; a trap which she sprung. A couple of metres away from the tree, the ground collapsed beneath her, and she found herself falling into a pit, at the bottom of which she could make out a cacophony of bright colours which was most likely a puddle of paint.

Slightly panicked, flailing, she managed to catch onto a stick or something, which was protruding out of the compacted soil at the edge of the pit. She’d stopped falling, but she heard the wood creak: it wouldn’t hold her for long. She dug her nails into the soil, scraping at it until it loosened, kicking her feet in to make a foot rest. She would climb up the side of this pit before she surrendered.

When she reached the top, a hand appeared in front of her, and she looked up to see Worf standing over her, offering an arm. She ought not to trust him, but she took it anyway, and to her relief he helped her up to the edge of the pit and she scrambled over the top, collapsing on the ground.

“Your face is scratched.” Worf observed. “You’re bleeding.”

She lifted a finger to her cheek and discovered it was true. “At least it’s not paint,” she remarked, wiping it on her trouser leg. “Beverly and Guinan?”

“They didn’t make it,” Worf shook his head solemnly. “Some people broke into the building. One of them got away.”

“Then it’s up to us to eliminate them.” Tasha said. “Anyone else?”

“I believe it’s just the three of us.”

“We work together to catch the other one, then it’s just us and I’m certain I will win.” She said, getting to her feet.

“Don’t be so sure. This is not just parrises squares, Lieutenant.”

“No,” she agreed. “That was a game. This is paintball.”

They were standing far closer than necessary, and she quickly stepped backward, in the process realising she’d injured her ankle when a sharp pain shot up her leg momentarily.

“I’ll be fine,” she said, holding up her hand to stop him when she saw he was about to say something. “How do you suggest we proceed?”

“I should check your ankle. I have emergency medical training.”

“I’ll be fine,” she protested.

“Lieutenant,” he gave her a stern look as she limped away, and they sat down in the only small space they could find that was free of tree roots.

“If you must,” she mumbled, stretching her leg out so he could reach it. He rolled her trouser leg up to her mid-calf, and gently felt pressed the skin. She realised it was the first time _ever_ that they’d been in physical contact, and even though it was strictly medical, it was nice.

“It is not dislocated,” he said. “merely sprained.” He ripped a section of cloth from his uniform jacket and wrapped it around the injury, tying it firmly. “You are strong, you will be fine.” He rolled her trouser leg down again and moved to sit beside her.

“Thank you, Worf,” she said, examining his face in the dying glow of the sunlight. “The days on this planet must be shorter than we’re used to.”

“It is my wish that we get away from this place soon,” he said. “I wonder if anyone has made it back to the Enterprise.”

“If they have they might be able to get us out of here.” She wanted to close her eyes, but she didn’t trust him not to shoot her the moment she did. Realising she still had her guns and water pouches slung over her, she took them off, leaving them in a pile beside her, and opened one of the pouches, taking a long drink before offering it to Worf. “Do you know who it was that got away?”

“I believe it was Ensign Davis’ wife, Melissa.”

“She’s pregnant, isn’t she? She can’t have gotten far?”

“Let your leg rest for a few hours, then we’ll deal with her.” he said, and Tasha suddenly became aware that their preoccupation with the paintball game had alleviated somewhat. She no longer considered the prize to be of the utmost importance. Was it over? Had whoever had done this gotten bored, given up?

She might have been more inclined to find answers to those questions if Worf hadn’t been looking at her with an intense gaze. He gently stroked her cheek, and she leaned closer to him. They were now no more than a hair’s breadth apart, and she could feel each of his light exhales, the air around them static.

For so long she’d imagined what it might like to be close to him like this, but they were colleagues, they were Starfleet officers and he was her subordinate. It wouldn’t have been appropriate. But right here, right now, the thought that this could be wrong was the furthest thing from her mind.

The hand on her cheek found its way to cup the back of her head, and it was tender, more tender than she would have imagined it to be with a Klingon. Perhaps it was a product of his being raised on Earth, far from his own kind, or perhaps it was in deference to her, as a Human. She might have liked it to be less tender, but right now she’d take it either way.  

*

The sky was pitch black when she woke up. She hadn’t planned to fall asleep, and she wondered if his seduction had been a deliberate attempt to catch her off guard. But Worf was sleeping, and he was… snoring. Despite herself, she giggled at that.

She waited a moment until her eyes adjusted to the lack of light before she sought out her clothes which were thankfully paint-free. She got dressed quickly and picked up his clothes, chucking them at his face to wake him up. She heard a rustle. That must be Melissa. She grabbed two paint-phasers and crouched behind a tree stump, watching the direction of where the sound had come from. She heard a crunch of leaves and saw a faint outline of movement in the darkness ahead of her.

Worf had got up and was dressing, and she hissed at him to stay low. He crouched beside her, two phasers in his own had, and they motioned silently in communication, each moving in the opposite direction around the tree, approaching the position of their target.

A narrow beam of light appeared, as though someone had turned on a torch. If it was indeed Melissa, no doubt this was a lure, but the sooner it was all over the better. They found the torch hanging from a tree, and instinctively turned in the direction they had just come to see someone running towards them from the trees.

Their assailant fired, and she ducked, purple paint splashing onto the tree behind her. She dashed backwards and almost tripped over her injured ankle, struggling for balance for a moment. All three of them fired at the same time, and several paintballs collided in mid-air, splattering both Worf and Melissa with paint.

She’d won. She’d won!

She’d counted her blessings too soon, as a single paintball which she’d missed hit her shoulder.

And like that, it was over.

*

“It didn’t happen?” Tasha suggested when she caught up to Worf. They were back on the Enterprise. Still no-one knew what had happened or who was responsible, but they all felt incredibly embarrassed about the way they had acted. “It’s not that it was a mistake, it was just that it didn’t happen.”

Worf hesitated, then after a moment, with a curt nod: “agreed.” Her stomach twisted. She didn’t want it to be over.

“We better get in there,” Tasha said, gesturing behind her. They were standing outside Ten Forward, where many of the crew were celebrating their safe return to the ship. They slipped into the room quietly, and sat down at the table, where Beverly, Geordi, Data and Deanna were already sat.

“Something’s changed,” Guinan noted immediately as she joined them, narrowing her eyes in Worf and Tasha’s direction.

“What’s changed, Guinan?” Tasha asked innocently. Before Guinan could respond she leaned over the table. “Data, I’m really sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have made those accusations against you.”

“It is alright,” he said. “You were under the influence of an unknown agent.”

“Thanks, Data.” She smiled at him.

“Can nobody else tell?” Guinan asked, apparently not ready to drop the subject. “No, okay.” She shrugged. “What can I get for everyone?”

They ate and drank. Something nobody had done much of in the last few days, and Riker and even Picard stopped by for a short time. The events on the anonymous planet were behind them, and nobody ever did find out who had put them there, or what this mysterious prize had been to so motivate them to turn on each other.

Around midnight people began to trickle out of Ten Forward, eager to get some proper sleep, until eventually it was only Tasha and Guinan left.

“So, you and Worf?” Guinan raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tasha lied, but she could tell her friend wasn’t convinced.

“You should talk to him.” Guinan suggested.

*

Worf tossed and turned, but sleep eluded him. He growled, and tried to banish the images haunting him of what had happened with Tasha on the planet, of her suggesting that they forget it ever happened.

He didn’t want to forget.

Resignedly, he gave up on sleep and got up to get a glass of water from the replicator, when the door chimed. Who could possibly be visiting him at this hour? He took a breath before calling for the person to enter.

The doors slid open, and Tasha Yar stood on the other side.


End file.
